I Love to Bark

I love to bark. I don't need a specific reason; I just love to bark. I bark at cars driving by, I bark at my neighbors. I bark at people walking down the street and I bark at random noises that don't effect me at all. I bark at the neighbors dogs and I bark at squirrels and birds in my back yard. I bark to alert the empty house when my owners come home and I bark when I'm frustrated by the treats stuck in my kong or bone. Sometimes, I even bark when I'm dreaming.

I can't determine if the owners like it when I bark or if they're correcting me, because every time I do it, they just say my name in "that tone". I think they're encouraging me to continue, so I do. I wouldn't want to disappoint them.

Christmas is Coming

Whew, what a week it has been! I was trying to walk the owners the other day, but they kept insisting we stop at these other houses around ours. (I think they called them our neighbors?) I heard the tall one say something about having a Merry Christmas, then he gave each person a present. (I love presents...) At one house, they opened the door and out shot this scruffy cat. It must have been in awe of my dominant, masculine self, because it stopped dead in its tracks and my taller owner was able to go over, pick it up (yuck) and give it back to the neighbor. The cat's owner was stunned because they can not ever catch it that easily. They acted like my owner had some great skill, but we all know it was because of me. It's a good thing I was there to prevent all of that hassle!

Now, back to presents...as I mentioned before, I love presents. In fact, I was sniffing around this tree the other night when I detected the smell of tasty goodness hiding in the back. I guess the short owner figured I would try to get to it when they were not looking because before I knew it, they were gone. I hope they come back soon though; I'd hate for them to go to waste!

Guard Duty

The other night was a little strange. The tall owner was MIA, and the short owner wasn't concerned at all. I think he may have been stuck in that box that flashes lights and makes a lot of noise because the short owner kept looking for him in there. The short owner and I went off to bed, but I was suspicious. I slept with one eye open, for fear that someone, or something might try to invade the homestead while I had no backup. When the numbers on the noisy thing that wakes up the owners were very small, I heard a noise! I leaped down from my bed and barked ferociously, racing towards the front door. I noticed that the short owner didn't stay low like I've instructed, but I can understand. Cracking under pressure is typical in this sort of situation. I raced into the living room to find that I had already scared off the intruder and standing there was the tall owner. He didn't even realize that I had saved us all with all of that awesome noise. I let him rub his hands on my dogly coat for a bit, then I headed back off to bed... all in a night's work.

An Icy Run in the Park

Today the owner and I took a really crazy walk/run in the park. He takes me there all the time, but this time, the white stuff was mostly clear, very hard, and slippery... It doesn't bother me because I've got these great claws and hair between the pads on my feet, but my owner, that was a different story. I was groovin' up a hill when I looked back to see him laying on the ground in the middle of the woods. I laughed pretty hard, and he gave me a dirty look because I was chasing a squirrel or something. He must have slipped, but he got back up and we continued on. It's pretty cool at this park because he takes that stupid thing they call a "leash" that I use to walk him and puts it away in his pocket. I think he has problems keeping up with me as I dart from one odor to another. I think he'd rather just let me lead him around the park without being tethered, even though the signs say that owners are to be kept on a six foot leash at all times.

My owners visited Breckenridge a while ago (and left me at home gosh darnit!) and they took this picture. I am completely insulted, if I ever see a sign like that I intend to publicly urinate all over it.

Man-Dog

In case there is any ambiguity here, I am a man-dog. Yes, the name Bailey has been used for she-dogs, but let there be no question from this point forward.

I Rock the Google Video

I am totally awesome. A long time ago, my owners started putting treats on my extra dogly snout and leaving them there, telling me to "stay" while it sits there, resting in it's perfectly delectable, delicious, tasty state. I play their games. I wait patiently, not moving while they point at me and tell their human friends how "good" I am... geeze... Sometimes I throw a good bit of drool into the mix so they think I'm really suffering, whatever. When he says "get it", it's my cue. Sweet tasty treat, welcome home!

[I received a comment from Norm on this post. He wonders who "holds the leash" in my household. I like to run the show by allowing my owners to think they are in charge. This way my underlings don't lash out at me and lock me in little cages all day, eh hem... it's been a long time since I've been locked up in a little cage.]

A Walk in the Frozen Wet Stuff

So today I took the owners for a walk. Since they have opposable thumbs, I had them bring the camera to document the event for my new blog.


First, I wanted to demonstrate my blinding speed, the camera can't even focus on me. That little red leash isn't going to last long if I keep moving like this.






Here, you can see my excellent directional skills. You can see my owner is clearly lost. I, on the other hand, have everything under control and am ready to head back to the homestead. Can you believe they don't even give me shoes to wear in this nasty stuff? Unbelievable...







And finally, this is a great example of what I do best. To the untrained, human eye, it looks like I'm just standing by a tree looking at nothing and being creepy. In reality, there are invisible evil doggy forces that I am staring down and intimidating until they come under my control. It's a good thing I'm here, I don't know what my owners would do without me. Oh yeah, this is a great sniffing tree, I think there are literally thousands of dogs that use these facilities. And contrary to what my owners say, I don't pee like a girl, it's just the retro-skill way to go. If they knew anything about what's in and what's not, they'd know that...

My First Post

My nemesis, Norm the dog, has created his own blog site, and now I must do the same. I will share interesting tidbits from my life and the lives of my owners. You'll know when they punish me for trying to teach them new ways to be tolerant, you'll hear about how I patronize them by "sitting", "laying down", and "rolling over" when they "command me to do so", and you'll hear about the things that I'm able to do while they're gone.

The weather is pretty bad today, some hard stuff is falling out of the sky along with that wet stuff. My owner came home from work early today, so I'm having to be extra sneaky, pretending like I'm just laying here doing nothing. I hear that it may snow, and that rocks.