The last straw...

I've had enough and just cannot take anymore. This hairdo is the last straw...

I mean, is this guy really serious?! From now on, I'm voting for everyone on Idol...EXCEPT for him...whether I like them or not. Please join me so we can all go back to voting for people who are worthy.

Shout-out

I just wanted to give a shout-out to my...uhh...human cousin Gabe and his big sister Emma. The short one left me at home again the other night and must have seen their mom...uhh...I mean...my human aunt. (Not that I even have canine aunts...) Anyway, when she got home that night she told me that they enjoy reading my blog every week, so I felt the need to give props to my peeps. "What up", Gabe and Emma! Gosh, I sure do miss them. I wish they would come spend the night at my house again sometime...

Doomsday

I woke up this morning to find the short one still in bed after the tall one left for work. I was glad to have the company and was beside myself when she grabbed my leash and called me to come with her for a ride in the car. As we sped down the highway, the scents I took in as I stuck my head out the window were intoxicating. I was in dog heaven...until we arrived at our destination.

I smelled the fear of the other dogs as we got off the highway and pulled into the vet's parking lot. I whined and moaned as we waited, but she didn't seem to be able to interpret my cries this time. As she led me to the scale, I decided to be a willing participant this time and actually sat down and didn't move when she told me to. (I'm proud to say that my dieting and exercise have worked...I'm down to a healthy 65 pounds now.)

I tried to walk back to the door to leave, but instead, we did the dreaded walk down the hall of doom and she led me into a little room. I had a new doctor this time, but I think I liked her. She looked at my eyes, ears and paws. I even let her look at my teeth, but only because she was petting me the whole time. At one point, I even rolled onto my back to allow her to scratch my belly. (I have no shame. I'll take any attention I can get.) She tried to clean my front leg to draw some blood, but like the tall one, I said "I'll have none of that" and I bared my teeth at her. The nurse left and came back with a muzzle. I've never encountered one of these before, but I guess you could say it was strangely soothing to me because I did not even flinch when they drew blood and gave me my other two shots in the rear. They removed the muzzle and I was sure to let them know how happy I was about it and wagged my tail, scurrying around the room.


I was relieved when we were able to leave after that, but I heard her talking to them about bringing me back in a few weeks for a new shot I'm getting. (The vet said they have had two recent cases of it.) Crap. Here we go again...

St. Patty's Day Run

Today we woke up early and headed down to the big city and big crowds to run in the St. Patrick's Day 5 mile run. On the drive there I was forced to ride in the back of the miniSUV (stupid ugly vehicle), where I had to sit in the very back for a half an hour with NO wind in my face. Just because I hated it I whined the entire time. They tried to appease me, but I didn't give in.

Once we got to the big city, I stopped whining because I had thousands of people to sniff and lots of things to listen to and see. At one point, a black and white smelly, noisy bike rode by and screamed at me, it was so loud that I cowered at my owners sneakers. Geeze...

After whining some more, there were some shots fired (I didn't know hunting was allowed in the big city, by the way) and we started off. We deeked, we darted, we sprinted, we practically walked for the first mile as the owner tried to keep up with his friends. At the first mile I heard my owner yell something about "9 minutes" in disgust. Then we took off.

We ran at about a 7:30 minute pace for the next 4 miles, not too bad. I had my own fans, people lining the streets were yelling, "GO DOG!" as I proudly trotted by.

The owner was tired but pleased when crossed the finish line at 39 minutes. He petted me and praised me in a patronizing fashion, but we both know the truth; I pulled his rear around the streets of the big city.

You can't see the owner and me in this picture because we just flew by this slow poke...

An adventure I did NOT ask for!

This afternoon, I was sitting in my house, peacefully minding my own business when the short one got home from work. Much to my surprise, the tall one arrived right after her. (That should have been my first clue.) They bust out my new collar and leash and we hop in the car. ...SWEET! We're going to the park!

We drive through the neighborhood and I can just smell it getting closer and closer. It's time to make one last turn before getting to the park when the tall one goes THE OTHER DIRECTION. ...Oh, no. Where the heck are we going?!

He parked the car in front of PetSmart, but at this point, I'm a little confused since we were just there yesterday and bought stuff. I chose to constantly whine to show my frustration. They brought me inside and we started looking at a pen full of dogs and their owners with some lady telling the humans what to do. ...Oh, crap. I think they're taking me to school.

I was so relieved when we finally left and did not enter into the pen of doom. They keep talking about it though, so I need to figure out a way to change their minds. Let me know if you have any suggestions...

Under the Weather

The owners have been feeling a bit under the weather for the past couple of weeks and to tell you the truth, I'm really getting tired of it. Not only have they neglected to give me the proper attention that I deserve, but they have the nerve to disappear on me and not spend any quality time with me. I've resorted to my typical solution to this problem. To let them know I've "had enough", while they are not home, I get into things that I should not be getting into...mainly pulling paper towels or tissues out of the trash can and getting into food that is not necessarily for me. Once I start that, it's like magic! They suddenly start to give me attention again. It's a little game I like to play with them, just to make sure that I have them neatly wrapped around my little...uhh...paw.

Speaking of paws...I need to vent a little bit. The tall one decided that my nails were getting too long and it was time to clip them. Not even a day later, he also decided that my smell (that I have worked so hard to skillfully obtain) was "repulsive" and tricked me into a bath after a glorious run in the park. Jerk.